Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Thought du jour: A good movie reveals itself more after each additional viewing while a bad movie reveals less.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Science: a definition

Science is saying 'I don't know' with confidence.

Feel free to spread the word.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Hurry up, science

Science: The explainer of it all. The candle in the dark. The great ocean of truth. The self-correcting philosophy of our time. The mind's great adventure. Indeed, you go by many names. This does not impress me; those with something to hide also do likewise. No matter; you cannot hide forever. Come out in the open and hear what I have to say you coward. But I am not here to name call. As I gleaned over your immaculate, sterling record I found a dirty trail of truth that caught mine eye. Here it is. Science, it is clear to me that you have been holding out on us, and it ends right now. We have been playing the part of the fool for too long and I am here to reveal it to the world. J'accuse

I will back off for a moment, as some may doubt my conviction. I will even play the tune of devil's advocate: Pray-tell then, how could I, a lowly working-class scientist, accuse you, oh-so-perfect science, of any wrongdoing? Has science not been generous to us? Has it not cured millions from disease, made our bellies full, and provided us with 3D televisions? I say nay, these are but slight offerings. Do not be fooled by such tripe, for science hoarding the best for itself. 

I will take a walk down history, noting the wheel. Next to necessity, the mother of inventions. Before then we were toiling for generations carrying everything on our own hides. Then comes the wheel, finally. After that one, you had us in the palm of your hand. But even then you were greedy, taking us another three thousand years to yield a decent horse and carriage. The horse, for that matter, took forever too. We had already built the pyramids by the time the wheel came; we had to drag giant rocks over logs. All because a certain someone didn't feel like sharing in time. Don't forget fire, either. Ten thousand generations before we could enjoy cooked meat. Sheer avarice. Please do not tell me such matters of invention take time. I know things can move faster. I refer you exhibit A: sliced bread, the Gordian Knot of human progress. After taking far too long, we invent bread. Next, we slice said bread. Done. That wasn't so hard, was it?  

To be fair, I know you've delivered us some clever ideas in the past. Electricity, gravity, microwave ovens, and pi. But looking at your supposed generosity a little closer, I see how far these wonderful tools were actually spread apart. You kept the bread crumbs rolling that's for sure, scattered across the sands of time. My generation has no time to play your childish ways. Show your cards face up 'cause it's getting late and we have work tomorrow. Work that could avoided if you just gave us the damn answers.

Perhaps I am being ungrateful. As a scientist, or servant as you will, I am supposed to be thankful for being offered a sip from the teat of wisdom. But do not claim victory so soon, science, for I am not easily bought. Furthermore, I know you play dirty with those who dig too deep. When someone's on to your scheme, taking more than you can bear to part with, you turn ugly. Newton and Einstein, discoverers of calculus and gravity, relativity and photons, and outright thieves in your eyes. You got jealous and got them started about "standing on shoulders of giants" and "Gods playing dice". Being responsible for Lilliputian delusions in one while exploiting the gambling habits of another, shame on you. I haven't even started with what you did with poor Godel.

But enough talk. The sheer waste of time in delaying important discoveries (or inventions: I want both) is almost too much to bear. Think of the possibilities, people: flying cars with microwave ovens, 10,000 terahertz computers that will be our friends, screens we can touch with our minds

Do not be fooled by the false generosity of science, dear reader, and do not be wooed by its purity nor practicality. Avoid being lulled into the sirens' sweet song of deductive logic and evidence-based practice. When you know it as I do, you will see that science is just stalling. Let me be explicit: we've been been had, big time. Science, were you working for me I would have dismissed you for sleeping on the job. Your status of equality among men has saved your skin this long, but beware: once word gets out about your lackadaisical and manipulative ways, things will change. Oh yes, they will.

I'm on to you.